Dream on...

A post that i had put up in 2006, which i thought i would share with the world again...

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living.

I want to know what you ache for,

and if you dare dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are.

I want to know if you will risk looking the fool for love,

for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon.

I want to know if you have touched the center of your sorrow,

if you have been opened up by life's betrayals

or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own,

if you can dance with wildness

and let ecstacy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes

without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic,

or to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true.

I want to know if you can betray another to be true to yourself;

if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.

I want to know if you can be faithful and therefore be trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not a pretty day,

and if you can source your life from God's presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine,

and stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the silver light of a full moon,

"Yes!" It doesn't interest me to know where you live

or how much money you have.

I want to know if you can get up after a night of grief and despair,

weary and bruised to the bone,

and do what needs to be done for the children.

It doesn't matter who you are, or how you came to be here.

I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire

with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.

I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself,

and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

~ Oriah Mountain Dreamer (A Native American Elder) ~

what i've learned about Albuquerque....

Ok, so i've been here in Albuquerque, say what? about a little more than a month...

I thought i should jot down what i have seen or observed about this city...

i) Lots of cars on the road, in particular the main road, Central, aka the famous Route 66 which is like where the university is, and like right next to my apartment too...

ii) It isn't just any type of cars though, most of them are sports cars or convertibles with cool looking shapes and stuff like that...

iii) Multi, diversed bunch of people here in Albuquerque, you walk down the street, you can see all kinds of people from difference culture and race, and the poor and rich and the students and the classy or hippy kinda people...

iv) high crime rate, high THEFT rate too... (which explains me bike getting stolen)

v) people are not as friendly as Bemidji, SAD! Cause i miss people in Bemidji... where you can smile to anyone, this is the usual city life.. where you don't do that...

vi) sucky public transportation unless you are travelling up and down central... haha... that, is not too bad... other than that, cab is freaking expensive! you practically need a car here.

vii) lecturers (so far) are nice people... haha... they've been very helpful with my transitioning in... and so are the few friends i met in class... nice people...

that's all for now, and the list will grow as time passes...

time to go back to assignment land! haha... my life is all about assignments! yay!!!*note the sarcasm*!!!

how much do you mean?

how many times have i hurt my Father in heaven?

time after time He has forgive me
over and over again He has provided for me

heal my heart and make it clean
open up my eyes to the things yet unseen

show me how to love like You have loved me

break my heart for what break Yours
everything I have for your Kingdoms cause

as I walk from earth into eternity


let me mean what I sing dear Lord... break my heart, for what break's Yours.

just as weak

as i went through my first week of master's and summer classes,
i broke down last night... i thought i could do better than this,
to hold it all in, but i could not...

of course, many factors that triggered it,
but ultimately, i have been holding in
and psyching myself, that yes Val, you can do it!

once again, due to my thick face and pride,
i could not speak to anyone...
i did not want to talk nor did i want to do anything...
all i wanted was for someone to hold me and to comfort me

whom shall i turn to in times of need?
only my Lord, my God...
He took me in His hands and held me like a baby,
He covered me under His wings of glory, and comforted me.

sorry to my friends, who love and care for me despite all my flaws
and yet, i could not see past them.

things i am looking forward to

Aww!! my house back in KL finally has a DOG!!! a DOG!!! do you know how much I have always wanted a dog? haha..

Rachel, my sister's friend gave her one of the small poodle dogs which her dog gave birth to! They are just so SO adorable! haha... I am so glad that my dad was ok with it too! given that my mum isnt at home now, i guess this is the best time to bring the pet in eh? haha...

Double excitement for me when I get back to KL then! I am so excited! haha...

Other than that, I am still up at miserable 2.45am on a Monday morning, trying to sum up some Mental Retardation stuff fro our group presentation... but totally not motivated to do it, thats why it's just been on the chair while i am blogging... haha

And my dear Jamie, gave me a bunch of pretty fun CDs, am enjoying them now!

I have so many things to look forward to back in MY! haha... this is my only motivation to finish up my classes now and do well in them! (or rather i hope) haha

things i look forward in MY:
i) FOOD! duh~~ it's only a MUST!!
ii) Friends and Family time (holiday at Penang and Singapore if possible)
iii) Meeting Haeman and maybe Tab! Yay!!! my friends from B-town!
iv) now a DOG to play with! yeahhhh!!!! :D
v) driving in KL!! haha...

me and albuquerque

I'm sooooo TAN!!!!

yeee... if only it was even then maybe it wouldn't matter that much. but it's NOT!! grrr...

anyways, classes -> SUCK... but, still surviving...

let's just say am not gonna take 2 classes in one session during the summer time, unless im trying to sign myself up for educational suicide or something... haha

i waited, and waited...
for a sound, a light, a direction...
you never came, never came...
i tried, i really did try...
but i guess we just couldn't meet...

Realize

Take time to realize,
That your warmth is
Crashing down on in.
Take time to realize,
That I am on your side
Didn't I, Didn't I tell you.

But I can't spell it out for you,
No it's never gonna be that simple
No I cant spell it out for you

If you just realize what I just realized,
Then we'd be perfect for each other
and will never find another
Just realized what I just realized
we'd never have to wonder if
we missed out on each other now.

Take time to realize
Oh-oh I'm on your side
didn't I, didn't I tell you.
Take time to realize
This all can pass you by
Didn't I tell you

It's not always the same
no it's never the same
if you don't feel it too.
If you meet me half way
If you would meet me half way.
It could be the same for you.

If you just realize what I just realized

Missed out on each other now